One Swallow Does Not Make A Summer!

by Sinnathamby Sivanandan

( November 30, 2016, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) It is true the Australian team performed very well in the third test at Adelaide to avert the white wash with the Pink Ball.The Australians in the Box Seat crushed the Springboks with an emphatic seven wicket win and regained the lost pride to the jubilant Australian fans though lost the series.

But to Cricket Australia Chief James Sutherland on the ABC Grand Stand “One swallow does not make a summer”, when he swallowed a fly live on the air whilst being interviewed by Gerard Whateley to his utter astonishment. Gerard quickly sized the situation and wittily remarked, “He’s just swallowed a fly that was unlucky”. Gerard continued with his commentary as the time flew out without interuption giving time for James Sutherland to regain normalcy.

After a gulp of a glass of water and a momentary  pause the Cricket Chief rejoined the conversation with a perfect sense of humour, most likely his reply triggered from his gut feeling   down his gullet “I’m back I think Gerard that fly’s gone down the wrong hole”. With the advent of Summer flies are abundant in Australia and are a big menace to the cricket spectators as well, and during this part of the season hats are worn specially devised and designed with special appendages to drive the flies when one nods his head.

The Kookaburra cricket ball controversy or the “Lolly Scandal” as you may recall at the second test at Hobart is an unpalatable truth one can easily swallow. This coming in the wake of the demoralising innings defeat of the Australians by the South Africans has caused the hosts to turn hostile and had caused a tsunami in the Austalian Cricket body. The saliva generated by the Duplessis’s Lolly was a hatari to the Springboks but had mellowed the Marshmallows of the Marsupials. The Aussie side is now in mint order and doing well.

Apart from what he did, the once apartheid side expressed solidarity in supporting the acting skipper Duplessis in the absence of the permanent skipper De Villiers. Du Plessis was fined his entire fee for the match in Hobart but was cleared to play in the Third Test in Adelaide by match referee Andy Pyecroft for applying saliva to the ball while sucking on a Lolly.

The entire episode was blown out of proption like a helium charged balloon by some common-tators to whom the issue was like a finger licking delicacy of Colonel Sander’s.The villification of the visitors was a part of the strategy, pledging support to the hosts who are experts in their sledging tactics and antics.The defiant Duplessis, amidst boos and jeers made a valiant ton but still denies the charge and has appealed against the decision of ICC for revision. ICC is not too happy about his denial to the charge and there will soon be a judicial review, fingers crossed on the seam, as it seems the result may turn out to be a late reverse swing!

To prevent ball tampering another sensible alternative the cricket body can think of is to make the  pants minus pockets, what I mean to prevent concealing any items that could be used for tampering also the metal zip in the fly could be replaced by Velcro.The display of commercial advertisements that trigger the taste buds and cause the salivary glands of the players to saivate should be banned within the playing arena. Thumbs up to the ICC very soon the players nails too will have to be clipped and examined by umpires.

The lollies,mints,sunscreen and lip ice and all chews may be eschewed as proscribed items to be used in the field.This move leave a bad taste in the mouth of the players and a foul odour in their breath but can’t help that is the new mint order. At this stage players cannot be tight lipped they must air their view but be ready not to swallow a fly while being live on the air!! The cricket body will have to sweat its way to formulate a solution to this vexing problem. I am afraid sweat too may soon be declared a taboo by the inspiring body aspiring and prespiring to resolve the issue.The sting and shine on the red, white and the pink balls are taking different and turns and swings!

The most salient feature of the television broadcast on the third pink ball test was at Adelaide Test was the close up display of the chewing gums being munched by the Proteas side conspicuously when they were fielding, is it another advertising gimmick by the gum manufactures? This is my summing up, hope ICC will not be gumming up the issue!

He is a Lolly Good Fellow Hip – Hip – Hurrah!

He is a Lolly Good Fellow Hip – Hip – Hurrah!

 

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One thought on “One Swallow Does Not Make A Summer!

  1. As the writer rightly suggests,the whole ball tampering episode was blown out of proportion,if ICC is bent on being petty minded and silly, I think they should seriously follow what the writer has suggested and in addition bring some crazy comedy to the so called gentlemens’ game,I suggest a supervised ceremonial bath at site to the fielding side,that would definitely be an entertaining spectacle and would once and for all put an end to the sticky issue.

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